* The ancestor of every action is a thought.
Saturday, May 22, 2010 __ *Leap off, I promise I'll hold your hand

Joanne's blog got me thinking:

There comes a point in our lives when we hit a fork in the road and when we reach this destination we will have to choose. One path will lead you into believing that love still exists while the other takes you to a very dark place. I guess, I have always been optimistic about love and relationships regardless of how any times I got burnt. While others think that it’s stupid of me to continuously believing in love, I just think they are just scared of the potential an open heart could bring. To be honest, when it comes to relationships, I’ve been through hell and back. I have fallen in love, out of love, I have been emotional and physical abused, I have settled, I have pretty much experienced everything in the book so sometimes I wonder, why is that I am not so jaded yet?

There was a point in my life that I truly believed that love didn’t exist, even more so, I believed that the happiness that stems from a healthy relationship was just a myth. However, during this “dark” time, I realized that, you shouldn’t depend on your significant other for happiness because you should be at peace with yourself before you would commit completely. I am not saying that I am not damaged because I am probably the most damaged item on the shelf but I did however took the time to really fix myself up. I’m not saying that I am in perfect condition right now. There’s no doubt that I still have issues with trust and self-esteem but it’s a personal battle that I must deal with myself and ONLY myself.

There’s no correct path that we should follow when it comes to relationships or love. Everyone has their own pace and their own way to figure out things however, I guess what I am trying to say is – it’s ok to go to a dark place. It’s okay to be jaded/cynical about love and relationships because during this time, it’s the best time to reflect. When the real things happens, you will have a better understanding and appreciation of all the effort and time it takes to build a relationship with another person.

I’m sure everyone will experience a “dark stage” in their lifetime one way or another, it’s just a fact of life. It doesn’t matter how long you stay in this stage but the only advice I would have is – don’t be blind and look away when a good thing is happening to you. Embrace the change and take that risk. I am a strong believer in “the bigger the risk, the bigger the reward” philosophy but I know, the hardest part is building up the courage to take the leap.

Tell me
Linda Tran
23
*overly complex
*always making it happen
*forever a believer

Words of Wisdom
"I walked a mile with Pleasure;
She chatted all the way;
But left me none the wiser
For all she had to say.

I walked a mile with Sorrow,
And ne’er a word said she;
But, oh! The things I learned from her,
When sorrow walked with me."

-Robert Browning Hamilton