"As doctors, as friends, as human beings, we all try to do the best we can. But the world is full of unexpected twists and turns. Just when you’ve gotten the lay of the land, the ground underneath you shifts. It knocks you off your feet. If youre lucky, you end up with nothing more than a flesh wound, something a band-aid will cover. But some wounds are deeper than they first appear, and require more than just a quick fix. With some wounds, you have to rip of the band-aid, let them breathe and give them time to heal." Grey's Anatomy
It's weird isn't it that someone can change so quickly but stay the exactly the same. In times of need, I come to the realization of who's really there for me. It becomes apparent that there is love and then there is true
never ending lasting love. My heart still clings on to that glimmer of hope that one day everything will be
ok. It's weird that when it comes to the two most trusted people in my life, the very ones I poured my hearts to, the one I would throw all my life away for, are like night and day. It's sad to say, I never gave credit to the one that really deserves it. On one hand, the one I thought that would never fail me slaps me right across the face. While, the one I hurt beyond word guides me with wise words in times of need. It's funny how life works. I feel the last couple of years was a lie. Have I been scamming my heart? Have I been too blind to see? Did I refuse to accept that I actually made the wrong decision? I feel like I woke up from a dream, like someone just threw a bucket of ice cold water over my head. What the hell was I thinking?
Everything came clear today.
Today is the day, I change.
Today is the day I stop saying Sorry to the wrong person.
Today I realized what love is.
I was lying to myself all these years, love isn't comfort. Love is uncontrollable and unmanageable. Love is acting crazy standing infront of the window crying not being afraid that the neighbours would hear. Love is shameless and complex. Love feels like you want to tear our your lungs from crying. So what the hell was I feeling?