Linda Tran

There are days I just need to be on a whole different planet. I'm not really running away from my problems, I am just taking some time off. I sometimes wish there was a turn-off or a pause button for life however unfortunately that's just not case. Sometimes, I really just disappear and I am just around the city alone. However, no matter how hard I push people away from my own little bubble, they always manage to come crawling back. No matter how many times I cut ties, they always manage to jump back into the picture. It's interesting because before I would wonder what's wrong with them or why they didn't see the bigger picture. However, now I realized that there is something wrong with me. Perhaps, sometimes I do just see one side of things and I refuse to accept other perspectives.

It's been a while since I have been this happy. Perhaps it's because I am so used to fulfilling my obligations and satisfying others that I am always buried in drama and filled with internal conflicts. Perhaps, I always thought that others would always know what's best for me. Perhaps, I was too caught up in what others think of me. Perhaps I don't want to be judged. But, I have hit a point in my life that I am just fed up. I just want to tell the world and even my own thoughts to shut up so I can just have some quiet time for me to figure things out. I am so done with making others happy, when will it be my turn? I think it's about time to defy and sort out my wants from the expectations from others.

I just wish it was easier said then done. How do you teach an old dog new tricks? I think with time and with patient you will eventually get there..right? Should I fall back into the comforts of my old routines and just be 'fine' or take the risk and actually find happiness? Today made me realize that by taking that jump, I found myself pleasantly surprised. Who knew?

If only everyday, each jump could be easier.

The bigger the risk, the bigger the reward.

I think I should take my own advice for once.

But, for the next couple of days - spare me the questions because I don't feel like talking. Not today, not tomorrow because I am too busy being happy.